Is it me or is it the hormones??

October 8, 2009 at 7:17 pm 8 comments

Of late, I am living out some of the scenarios I will be facing as a parent. Pretty normal you might say, except that these scenarios have nothing to do with baby sitting or poop or kindergarden like most parents would be worrying about. To give you an idea of what I am talking about

Scenario 1:
I just discovered that I no longer remember various method to solve integration problems. Yes, Integration as in differential calculus. I remember some basic stuff but nothing that we needed some special tricks to solve. I tried and tried but could not remember anything. I even asked K and he promptly told me I was having one of my “moments” and left it at that. Now, this is when it began to grow into a small panic. What if I am not able to teach calculus to my kids? I mean, how would they deal with a mother who would stare at a calculus problem and give a blank look? I did not want to google stuff and cheat, but this was worrying me a lot. I even resolved to borrow my nephew’s 12th grade advanced math text book and work out all the problems in them. Only the next day morning I realized I might come across as a tad bit silly and gave up on it. And every now and then, I keep worrying about different theorms I have forgotten and try and remember them. Oh, btw did I mention that I am a total nerd??

Scenario 2:
I have a dog, a big one. And now I am having a baby. Instead of worrying like a good Indian parent about how the dog will affect my baby, I worry about what my baby is going to do to my dog. Like this one time I had a dream that my kid was around 2 years old and Rummy and baby are playing together. I am puttering around the house and I come back to find that my lovely black and white dog is now multicolored – because my baby decided to use Rummy as a blank canvas. I keep worrying about how baby might pull Rummy’s ears or hurt him when in all probability the whacks that a 15 pound child metes out probably won’t even register in my 80 pound dog’s brain.

Somebody please tell me it is the hormones.

In other related news, Baby has decided to join United Manchester or some such fancy league, for which practise has begun right now in Mamma’s belly. Especially when she is in meetings where she cannot even make appropriate facial expressions. Everything needs to be answered with a kick – hungry?? Kick Mamma. Don’t like the position she is sleeping in? Kick Mamma. Getting bored? Kick Mamma. You get the drift.

Also, I am becoming obsessed about whether my face is swelling up. K is most uncooperative and gets away saying that he sees me daily, so he won’t be able to make out the changes. So anyone who has not seen me in a couple of weeks – I immediately get to asking them if my face is getting bigger. I guess secretly (or not so secretly) I want to be preggie like Heidi Klum. When she was pregnant, she was still stick thin with a soccer ball thing where her stomach was. And she wore those awesome dresses that made her look even better. Truth is much much further for us ordinary mortals. Sigh! And yes, the truth still does not stop me from polishing off plates of kesari bath or that nth cup of icecream – even when the doc keeps telling me that I need only 300 calories more than my regular intake when I am pregnant. I half believe the doctor is lying because I am hungry ALL THE TIME.

And last, but not the least – random strangers come up to me and touch my belly. I cannot tell you how much I HATE that one. I feel like one of those laughing Buddhas whose belly gets rubbed by all and sundry for good luck. I am sure people find my belly very fascinating, but think about this – I find lots of male and female body parts amusing / amazing all the time. You don’t see me running up to people and touching them do you??


Entry filed under: Random Banter.

Shining example of organization on K’s side of the family And now the award goes to…..

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Dee  |  October 9, 2009 at 6:08 am


    As for ur mail, I am now obsessing about integration & differential calculus.. And I am not even pregnant.. So, don worry, maybe its a crazy person thing πŸ˜€

    As for the dog, thats my usual said behavior.. I am more worried about people hurting my teeth baring, jaw ripping, 33kg dog than for them.. I secretly wish she bites them when they trouble her so that they have to take 10 injections πŸ˜€

    And get a t-shirt printed saying, “DON EVEN THINK ABOUT IT” & position it on ur belly πŸ™‚

    Clueless: LOL! By “she” I meant baby talking in second person about me, nice try πŸ˜‰ And yes, I will get that T-shirt…I am sure it is available somewhere here!

  • 2. La Vida Loca  |  October 9, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    oh its the hormones….
    hey they are not touching your boobs…prgnant belly is fascinating…so if I see you, I will touch the tummy πŸ˜›

    Clueless: As long as you ask!

  • 3. alwayshappykya  |  October 9, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Heya my MTB mate!

    Your updates are so me a glimpse of my days in the nearest future. πŸ˜€

    Dreams …ah! They are so much more elaborate and vivid like a 70 mm cinema these days! Don’t you worry..Rummy is just a manifestation of your ‘maternal instincts’ in a different form. Did you say you see the baby in the dreams too?? Lucky you! πŸ˜€

    The ‘Kick Mamma’ stage must be so feels. Re assures you that a baby is actually in there and happy na?. Eagerly awaiting for that phase πŸ™‚

    Can’t avaoid a bloated face…happens to one and all babes…very few are spared. I can feel it coming already ..sniff.

    You take care and keep smiling πŸ™‚

    Clueless: MTB mate…thats so cool! Yeah I think it is the maternal instincts too – albeit a little misdirected πŸ™‚ The kicking phase is so wonderful…I would eagerly await my doc appointment to hear the heartbeat and know everything is ok…now I know it on a day to day basis. It is really wonderful….until of course baby decides to kick your non-empty bladder in the middle of a meeting!

  • 4. DewdropDream  |  October 9, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Dude WHAT is with people going upto random preggies and patting their tummies?! Like seriously?! I think it would be totally justified and forgivable for you to swat them away. Blame the hormones πŸ˜€

    That scenario of Rmmy being used as canavas had me chuckling away in the middle of a busy work day πŸ˜€

    Oh and I think it’s very normal to worry about appearing daft befoe one’s child. I have no intention of having a child any time soon and there are times when I find myself suddenly wanting to brush up on stuff I learned way back just so I know it perfectly. Gah!

    Clueless: Yes, I will have myself a fly swatter at work…hopefully it should work. And go glad to know even you want to brush up on stuff…next time K says it is the hormones (which is his standard dialogue of avoidance now-adays) I will point to your comment and say it is not!

  • 5. Serendipity  |  October 15, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    That last line had me in splits πŸ˜€
    Waise, how can random people do that? I mean, seriously!? I can understand if some of the people who know you end up doing it…but random strangers!?

    The rest of it is definitely hormones πŸ˜‰

  • 6. Tazeen  |  October 20, 2009 at 8:55 am

    You forget integration? Has to be a girl, i dont know any boys who fear calculus as much as girls (me in particular) do.

    Hope you are keeping well (apart from the kick fest of course) πŸ™‚

    Clueless: Fear calculus?? Why?? Like Prof.Lupin said “there is nothing to fear but fear itself”! I am doing good otherwise πŸ™‚

  • 7. chroniclesofdee  |  November 4, 2009 at 4:14 am

    Come over and collect ur prize πŸ™‚

  • 8. divya  |  November 4, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    “You don’t see me running up to people and touching them do you??”

    LOL… I almost choked on my coffee!

    It must be the hormones – don’t worry. And you were absolutely right to worry about your dog. My 2 yr old cousin beat her dog up, pulled its tail, and rode it holding on to its ears. The poor big dog would listen to her and silently bear it all as dogs genuinely love their masters’ baby.

    Eventually the dog came out of its fear for the doctor and started to fear her πŸ˜›

    Clueless: LOL at niece and the dog….now you know why I am more scared for the dog! Dogs do get very protective about the little members of their family, and even though they may not show it in terms of licking / tail wagging, the abuse they put up with for the toddler is ample proof!

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