Is it me or is it the hormones??
Of late, I am living out some of the scenarios I will be facing as a parent. Pretty normal you might say, except that these scenarios have nothing to do with baby sitting or poop or kindergarden like most parents would be worrying about. To give you an idea of what I am talking about
I just discovered that I no longer remember various method to solve integration problems. Yes, Integration as in differential calculus. I remember some basic stuff but nothing that we needed some special tricks to solve. I tried and tried but could not remember anything. I even asked K and he promptly told me I was having one of my “moments” and left it at that. Now, this is when it began to grow into a small panic. What if I am not able to teach calculus to my kids? I mean, how would they deal with a mother who would stare at a calculus problem and give a blank look? I did not want to google stuff and cheat, but this was worrying me a lot. I even resolved to borrow my nephew’s 12th grade advanced math text book and work out all the problems in them. Only the next day morning I realized I might come across as a tad bit silly and gave up on it. And every now and then, I keep worrying about different theorms I have forgotten and try and remember them. Oh, btw did I mention that I am a total nerd??
I have a dog, a big one. And now I am having a baby. Instead of worrying like a good Indian parent about how the dog will affect my baby, I worry about what my baby is going to do to my dog. Like this one time I had a dream that my kid was around 2 years old and Rummy and baby are playing together. I am puttering around the house and I come back to find that my lovely black and white dog is now multicolored – because my baby decided to use Rummy as a blank canvas. I keep worrying about how baby might pull Rummy’s ears or hurt him when in all probability the whacks that a 15 pound child metes out probably won’t even register in my 80 pound dog’s brain.
Somebody please tell me it is the hormones.
In other related news, Baby has decided to join United Manchester or some such fancy league, for which practise has begun right now in Mamma’s belly. Especially when she is in meetings where she cannot even make appropriate facial expressions. Everything needs to be answered with a kick – hungry?? Kick Mamma. Don’t like the position she is sleeping in? Kick Mamma. Getting bored? Kick Mamma. You get the drift.
Also, I am becoming obsessed about whether my face is swelling up. K is most uncooperative and gets away saying that he sees me daily, so he won’t be able to make out the changes. So anyone who has not seen me in a couple of weeks – I immediately get to asking them if my face is getting bigger. I guess secretly (or not so secretly) I want to be preggie like Heidi Klum. When she was pregnant, she was still stick thin with a soccer ball thing where her stomach was. And she wore those awesome dresses that made her look even better. Truth is much much further for us ordinary mortals. Sigh! And yes, the truth still does not stop me from polishing off plates of kesari bath or that nth cup of icecream – even when the doc keeps telling me that I need only 300 calories more than my regular intake when I am pregnant. I half believe the doctor is lying because I am hungry ALL THE TIME.
And last, but not the least – random strangers come up to me and touch my belly. I cannot tell you how much I HATE that one. I feel like one of those laughing Buddhas whose belly gets rubbed by all and sundry for good luck. I am sure people find my belly very fascinating, but think about this – I find lots of male and female body parts amusing / amazing all the time. You don’t see me running up to people and touching them do you??
Entry filed under: Random Banter.