Archive for June, 2008

What I did last couple of days and why it has left me drained of all energy whatsoever

– Had work up to my neck, finishing off a couple of things before I go off on my BIG Europe + India vacation in August. France, Switzerland, Italy and Greece. By the end of it I will have a nice European summer tan to show off.

– Booked insanely expensive and ridiculously small hotels in Europe. One hotel in Switzerland charges extra if you want a window! And what is with shared bathrooms there? Of course, if you think you will need some privacy while pooping, then guess what…it costs extra.

– Thought all the while that we should head to French Consulate and that French consulate has enough dates. I got a shocker when I saw that the next appointment I could get was Jul 27, when I have to leave on Jul 31. Then realized that I should in fact go to the Italian Consulate that is open only 2 days a week for 3 hours each. AND has a visa turn around time of THIRTY days. But at least it did not need an appointment. So off I went, and now they have promised my visa by Jul 17, and I still have to visit the Swiss consulate, which thankfully gives you a visa on the same day. Btw, do you know how much paper work is required to apply for a visa? I am sure I made at least a small rain forest disappear.

– Came back home to find that my dog had pushed our LCD TV over. And it is broken. Rummy is being punished by being put out of the house. He is not happy. Seeing him sulk, I am not happy. And no TV for distraction means me and K are a couple of not happy people stuck in the same room with nothing to do, and a broken TV staring at our face and screaming $500 in our head.

– Packing for going to Seattle over the weekend. This was a free vacation our travel agent gave us for screwing up my parents’ tickets last year. I thought vacation included flight AND hotel. Asked the guy about the hotel. He says “but I thought you will stay with your friends”. !!*@!%#? Apparently, now it is a well established fact that all desis are free loaders who never stay at motels and always look for “friends” to board them. Why, even my travel agent ex-travel agent thinks so.

– Scrambling to get a ride for a team picnic happening tomorrow. I missed the planning because I was standing in line at the Italian Consulate where people were rolling their r’s so much that it sounded like an old Harley going Drrr Drrr Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Now a kind colleague has offered me a ride , where I have to sit in the middle part of 2 bucket seats for nearly a distance of 60 miles. Each way. Ouch.

Oh yeah…the silver lining…I bought new shoes 🙂 They are open toed, cream/tan geometric pattern with big round silver button on the front. And they look so pretty on me!

PS: Thanks La Vida Loca for asking.


June 27, 2008 at 1:51 am 8 comments

Akshay’s beard affects millions!

Guess what the latest controversy is….no no…it is not female infanticide, poverty, starvation, or even the lack of leadership in a developing nation. It is…hold your breath….the size of Akshay’s beard in his move “Singh is King”

Apparently, the wise elders of community are concerned that Akshay’s non-beard in the movie will cause young Sikhs to be influenced and trim their beards off. I mean…how do they even come up with such things? Is there a committee that is appointed to watch movies and see how they can make a fuss over it? And before angry Sikhs start throwing tomatoes at me (sigh…I STILL think loads of people read my blog even if the blog stats say otherwise), every community has their attention grabbing committee working overtime.

Do you really think a rich tradition that has survived 100s of years will be influenced by one movie? Of if a particular tradition is losing popularity because it can no longer be related to, do you really want to make a zombie out of it instead of letting it die a dignified death? And why, oh why, don’t the directors have the backbone to stick to their movies? Apparently Akshay hurriedly went and grew a beard to appease the elders.

Have you read Ayn Rand’s “Anthem”? I think that is exactly where we are heading. A society that does not respect individuals, forces a norm and strips you of your dignity. When humans are the walking dead. And where a few **** heads get to decide how you should behave and lead your life. And what are we doing about it? Oh…we are just hurrying them along.

June 20, 2008 at 7:03 pm 3 comments

I have finally arrived!

The blogosphere has a 2 step initiation process. First are the comments. Someone actually taking some time out to leave their 2 cents on my chaos. The second step is where you are accepted as a blogger, a part of the fraternity. The acceptance comes through a ritual known as “tagging”

I love lucy, thanks for the initiation! So on to my first tag ever!

I am to list 10 of my deepest and darkest secrets or at least 10 things that are not known about me. No No , I will not reveal that I am actually Aishwarya Rai blogging under a pseudo name, but here it goes.

1. Edited: Removing the first one on request of my husband K, who promised to take me out shopping in return for keeping this dirty (pun intended) secret to myself.

2. I have a strange fear that flying birds will come find me and then sit on my head and flap their wings on my face. Even thinking about it gives me the creeps. When I went to Hawaii with K, a photographer offered to sit some colorful parrots on our hands and take photos. Guess who totally freaked out? The photographer thought I was just being a little nervous and decided to “help” me. He ended up chasing me all over the park and never caught up. Which brings me to….

3. I can run really really fast when I feel threatened ( ex: by birds). My speed and agility surprises even me later. Of course, the fact that I have to spend the night massaging my under used muscles is another thing.

4. I have a recurring dream that all my teeth are falling out, one by one. It is so real, I can even taste the blood in my mouth. And very scary. One minute I am smiling, and the next I have 4 teeth in my hand. More than once, I have woken up, felt my teeth and gone back to sleep.

5. During one of my “science experiments” phases when I was a kid, I thought it would be really cool to boil plastic and then mould it into something else. So I took one of my mom’s steel vessels, put broken pieces of plastic in it and put it on the gas stove. Only when some toxic smelling black gas started coming out, it realised that something was going wrong. All the plastic had melted and gotten stuck in the vessel. Nothing was coming out. So I hid the vessel somewhere in the back of the deep shelf. Till today, mom does not know. (Well, now she does…don’t whack me amma.. I will get you another one)

6. I went ahead and jumped off a plane at 13000 feet, but I cannot sit on a roller coaster.

7. I like someone “seeing” my head. As a kid, I would be put through this ritual whenever there was a lice attack. And I found it totally therapeutic. Just like squeezing pimples.

8. I totally judge people who live off their parents’ money even when they start earning. They live beyond their means because they know that daddy will take care of all the credit card bills.

9. I once had a crush on the photo of young Albert Einstein found on the back pages of Halliden and Resnick ( the gianormous ultra nerd book that is supposed to get you into IIT ). I even imagined how it would be to marry Einstein and help him with his experiments, and later get a noble prize myself. Did I tell you I am a closet nerd?

10. When I first met K, his t-shirt had a small hole in it and I pointed it out to him. He was suitably embarrassed. This is not a secret or anything, but one of those incidents I have never been able to forget.

I tag Imp’s Mom and La Vida Loca

June 19, 2008 at 7:11 pm 3 comments


K asked me to send him some pics of Rummy our dog, so that he can forward it to his manager (who also has a dog). I just asked him why he was sending Rummy’s pics…and this is the conversation on the messenger :-

K: what happened..
K: what do you mean why I am sending..
Clueless: yeah why are u sending
Clueless: what is the story behind the decision to send
K: what..?

Tell me, was I unclear in my questions? Then why? WHY?

Edited to add: Maybe I praised him too much in my previous post. Now I have go remove dhristi (evil eye) for him

June 13, 2008 at 11:29 pm 1 comment

Happy Birthday to me!

Yeah..I still get excited about my birthday every year. I know there will be a “suprise” party with my friends over at midnight, I know my parents, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, inlaws  will call and wish me. But every year, it is just as delicious basking in their wishes and knowing that I am not forgotten ( one of my secret fears ever since I have moved to the US )

This year, the K put in some extra effort to make it even more special. And I love him for that. Firstly, he bought be three gorgeous pairs of footwear – one in hot pink with a huge buckle on the front, an aqua peeptoe and some very comfortable walking shoes. I am wearing the hot pink ones today to work and I keep staring at them ;;)

And then, the guy goes ahead and buys my birthday cake from one of my favorite bakeries, that too in Tiramisu flavor. Did I tell you that I can do anything for a piece of that dessert? And then, in the cutest way, he gives away goodie bags to all my friends who came over…little colored bags with 2 packets of chips, a bag of candy, a piece of cheese and some hard candy. There were simultaneous “awwww….”s from all my friends…and I felt soo proud of my K, I wanted to hold him tight right there…

And then, when I thought it was all done, and woke up on my birthday morning, I heard the door bell ring. When I opened it, there were birthday balloons tied to my car, and a card taped to the window. It was from my SIL and BILs families. Them being not so big on birthdays but still making it special for me the way I like it made me go all mushy again. Rummy walked around the whole morning with those balloons tied to his collar, looking like a bumble bee with 2 antennae over his head.

This morning I had so many choices for what to wear, thanks to my parents and sister who parcel me clothes every year ( I think the mail charges cost more than the clothes, but you think this deters my mom? ). I am in love with FabIndia all over again, can’t wait to get my hands on more cotton stuff when I am in India.

I will be finishing off the evening with a nice dinner, just me and K. We will get back home, sit with our dog cozily and watch some random movie we don’t really care about. I have a smugness today I can’t shake off. I feel truly blessed to be surrounded by people I love and who love me. Today just reminds me of how special they are.

Who cares about age, I can’t wait for my next birthday already!

June 10, 2008 at 6:28 pm 4 comments

The many moods of Rummy

The “whatever” look. Lasts only till you pull out a biscuit….


And then the look changes to…Attention! Complete and unwavering attention….He has to will the biscuit into his mouth by concentrating as hard as he can….not even a flinch

puppy face

If he still does not achieve the telekinetics..he resorts to the puppy face….works very well with visitors.sniffer

He does this to me after every meal…he sniffs my mouth…almost like the bollywood mummy who keeps checking if her wayward son came home drunk

This is a very startled Rummy caught doing I don’t know what..even the kid has the same look…hmmmm….

A perfect way to end an eventful day……

June 6, 2008 at 9:48 pm Leave a comment

Sex and the City – the movie

SPOILER ALERT. Consider yourself warned.

Went there, watched that. Had loads of fun ( nothing to do with the movie, unfortunately). About 25 of us hot girls got together for a pre movie party and had a blast. All of us were dressed fab, took lots of shoe pics, and some of us were sloshed even before the movie began! We started a thing where we had to say something “juicy” about ourselves. And the best one came from the party host who said she had done “IT” on a flight! Wow! How did they manage to squeeze into an airplane loo? Next time I am on a flight, I have to definitely pay a visit to the loo…no no…I wont do it there ( me and K will never be able to fit in ), but I just have to find out the “possibilities”. One determined girl she is!

We reached the movie theatre in our cocktail dresses, very acutely overdressed and not caring a bit. We cheered everything on the screen, from the lovely shoes to Samantha’s gorgeous naked neighbor. Loads of catcalls and girlpower.

Now, the movie itself. Here are a few of my observations:

1. Mr.Big is an ass. I mean, if he can get spooked because someone tells marriages don’t work out, then he is such a baby. Especially when he has done it twice before.

2. Carrie is stupid to take Mr.Big back after he jilted her on her wedding day. But I guess the closet does it especially hard to concentrate on how you actually hate someone.

3. Loved how Steve and Miranda get back together on the Brooklyn bridge. Me had couple of sniffles for that scene.

4. The whole Jennifer Hudson “Love” keychain – password thing is so tacky beyond belief. I thought all those keychains were burnt after the whole Ashiqui kind of movies were banned from being remade. It is soooo 8th standard. And even in 8th standard, I would not have chosen that golden colored one.

5. I really like Charlotte’s bald guy. He is soo sweet. Sad the movie did not show enough of them.

6. How can Samantha think of naked neighbor when she has SMITH? He is so infinitely cute, sexy and handsome!

7. Absolutely loved the shoe proposal. And what a shoe! I am sooo making K get me shoes for my birthday.

June 2, 2008 at 10:42 pm 1 comment

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